Book Raw!

We all know how shit Raw has been lately, so why don't we make it interesting, and write the matches/results ourselves? We don't need detail, just the card results, like mine below. The next person will post the following week (keeping up with storylines/etc), and so on. We can also do PPV matches for Raw only, unless it is multibrand.

Week after the Raw that just aired:

Guest Host comes out to welcome crowd, only to be interrupted by Sheamus, who is complaining about facing John tonight. He says he has beat Cena, and doesn't need to prove it again. Guest host says the match is still on, and exits ring.

MVP and Chris Masters w/ Eve def. Carlito and Jack Swagger.

Backstage segment with DX hyping Hornswoggle as their mascot.

Maryse def. Kelly Kelly in a Contendership Match for the divas championship. Afterwards, she attacks Kelly, but Melina makes the save, as Maryse taunts and walks off.

Gail Kim is backstage, when Alicia Fox walks up to her and begins to brag. Alicia challenges her and a partner to a match tonight.

Evan and Kofi def. Legacy in a tag match. Afterwards, Randy comes out and the three beat down on Evan and Kofi.

The Miz def. Primo in a quick match

Gail Kim and Melina def Alicia and Jillian

WWE Championship: John Cena def. Sheamus via DQ (Sheamus still champion). Guest Host makes it a No DQ match at the RR.

first of all, this would be a promo-free Raw...no promos..no backstage segments..no interviews.

MVP & Mark Henry vs DX for the tag team titles, No DQ (MVP/Henry win)

Maryse vs Melina for the Divas title, Falls Count Anywhere (Maryse wins)

Miz vs Chris Masters w/Eve for the US title. (Eve interferes and helps Masters win)

Legacy vs Hart Dynasty (Legacy wins but then grabs the mics and asks HD to join Legacy, HD agree)

Kelly vs Gail vs Katie Lea (surprise trade from ECW for Jillian) vs Alicia, #1 contender's match for the divas title. (Kelly and Gail have some miscommunication. Kelly wins then Gail officially makes her heel turn and attacks Kelly after the match.)

Main Event: Sheamus vs Cena for the WWE title (Sheamus wins and Cena gets "injured" and is off tv for atleast the next 8 months)

The show starts with a tribute vid to Cena



Melina involkes her rematch clause and is set to battle Maryse (But Gail interferes and cost Melina the match, Kelly runs out to make the save and is quickly destroyed)

that's all I've got, someone can finish the rest!

<^> (-_-) <^> wrote:

The show starts with a tribute vid to Cena



Melina involkes her rematch clause and is set to battle Maryse (But Gail interferes and cost Melina the match, Kelly runs out to make the save and is quickly destroyed)

that's all I've got, someone can finish the rest!

ok..then we get a DX/Hornswoggle segment

Chris Masters w/Eve & Evan Bourne vs Carlito & Miz (Masters gets masterlock on Miz for the win)

DX vs Hart Dynasty (HD win when Natalya interferes)

Mark Henry vs Paul Birchill w/Katie (Birchill wins with Katie's interference)

interview with Gail Kim

Sheamus and Orton vs Kofi and MVP (Orton punts Kofi for the win)

OMG I love this

Bret Hart is the host of Raw, coming out and announcing that it will be Legacy vs DX, in a No DQ match.

Paul Birchill w/ Katie def. MVP- Sends an Open challenge to Chris Masters

Gail Kim def. Kelly Kelly by submission. Afterwards, she beats up on Kelly, until Melina interferes, sending Gail away.

Chris Masters & Evan Bourne w/ Eve def. Carlito & Miz.

Backstage, Maryse and Melina have a brawl.

Kofi Kingston def. Orton in a hardcore rules match

DX def. Legacy in a No DQ Match. Bret Hart comes out and informs them they will be defending the tag titles in a submission match right now against Hart Dynasty.

Hart Dynasty def. DX to win the titles, after Bret Hart orders the bell to ring when the Sharpshooter is locked on Shawn Michaels. He also makes a ruling that DX can never challenge for the tag titles ever again.

Mine~
MVP/Chris Masters w/Eve v Swagger/Carlito-MVP and Masters win.
MVP challenges the winner of the WWE championship match.

Legacy v Kofi/Bourne/Henry in a rematch-Kofi pins Orton with Trouble in paradise

Divas Title-Melina v Maryse, Melina wins then takes out Maryse for another 5 months. Yes Im evil. :P

US Title match-Miz v Santino-Santino wins in what is an upset victory.

WWE Unified Tag title match-Hart Dynasty win the titles from DX after the Hart Attack.

Main Event-WWE Championship-Sheamus v Cena-Cena wins the WWE Title back with the attitude adjustment after a long hard faught match.

The End.

Show starts with Kelly attacking Melina backstage. The fight goes allt he way to the ring and it's made a match for the divas title since Kelly was the rightful #1 contender.

Melina vs Kelly for the divas title. Kelly wins and Melina gets sent to ECW for Rosa.

Chris Master vs Santino for the US title. Santino wins continuing his new push.

Kelly interview. Gail interrupts and challenges for the divas title Kelly agrees and says why wait till next week, let's do it tonight.

Eve and Kofi vs Dibiase Jr. and Jillian, Jillian gets the surprise roll up when Chavo interferes. Jillian and Chavo celebrate and then chavo suddenly kisses her.

Kelly vs Gail Kim for the divas title. Gail wins the title and then beats Kelly senseless post match.

Cena vs Orton vs HHH vs HBK for the WWE title. HBK wins the gold.

Kelly is pissed cuts a promo about not being taken seriously by Gail

Gail attacks out of nowhere and the two duke it out to the outside of the arena where Gail beats her senseless and puts her into a dumpster

Kofi and Bourne are walking to the ring when they are attacked by the new Legacy (including DH). Randy goes to punt Kofi in the head again but is stopped by an angry Bret Hart. Legacy takes off.

1. Bourne & (replacement partner) MVP vs. Cody & Ted Jr. Bourne wins with his finisher. He and MVP celebrate in the ring.

2.Jillian Hall vs. Eve. Eve does allot of dropkicks but Jillian finally goes apeshit on her and gives her a diva kick to the face for the pin. Jillian sings her way up the ramp *sliced bread*

Kelly is pissed looking for Gail but finds Alicia and Maryse instead. They tell her she smells like garbage and walk away.

3. Maryse & Alicia in matching white skirts, wrestling boots and tank tops vs. McCool & Layla

(Bret comes out and says that he had a great idea an ran it past Vince a month ago. The four divas would have the privelaege of fighting tonight for the first ever WWE Women's Tag Team Championship title and the match starts right now)

The girls go at it toe to toe most of the match until Maryse gets a devistating DDT from Layla for the 3.

New diva tag champs Layla and McCool. McCool cuts a prom about how she is the most dominant female in the WWE and her protege Layla is a force to be reckoned with. Layla takes the Mic and tells Kelly she's coming for her for some unsettled business. Major heat all around.

4. Miz vs. R Truth. Great match with high spots until Morrison runs in and hits Miz with a chair. Winner by DQ Miz. R Truth is pissed but Morrison calms him down. Morrison tells Miz he's gotten a title shot for Miz's belt at the next Raw. R Truth and Morrison leave still arguing a bit.

Matt Hardy talking on cell and laughs about Jeff being in all the trouble he's in. Says Jeff has no idea that he and Shelton were behind it all. Shelton walks in and the two share a laugh at something Shelton whispers to Matt. By the door Cryme Tyme hear everything. Shad says it's time to call up Jeff.

5. Randy vs. Sheamus non title match. Great match with Randy winning with a punt to Sheamus's head not once but 2 times. Randy holds the belt in the air. Heat from all sides.

Bret is in the office and the Bellas are sitting down. He tells them they need to be useful so he's scheduled a match for next week against Beth and Katie for the 1 contendership for the Women's Tag titles. Tells them to leave the office. Rolls his eyes.

Randy sees Stephanie by the makeup area. He goes up to her and smiles. She's uncomfortable. DX run in but it's a trap. Legacy decimates DX and beat the crap out of Hornswoggle too. Hornswoggle gets a punt to the head by Randy that looks sick. Hornswoggles body rolls a bit to the corner from the impact. Randy looks insane as DH, Cody and Ted drag him away. Hornswoggle will be out for 6 months. : )

6. John Cena vs mystery opponent. Glass breaks its the Rattlesnake. He tells Cena to close his mealy mouth and listen. Tells him that he is not his opponent but he's next weeks host. Austin announces the real opponent The Rock. Crowd goes wild. Rock beckons Cena forward but Cena leaves the ring to a chorus of boos. The ref keeps telling Cena to come back but he refuses and goes to the back. Stone Cold and The Rock share beers.

Next Week:

MVP comes out to lots of pops. He announces he will be challenging for the WWE championship at the next ppv.

Chris Masters w/ Eve and Evan Bourne def. Legacy. Ted Argues with Cody and Randy comes out and gets them to stop. Ted tells Cody and Randy he dont need them anymore. Then Kofi comes out and gives Cody and Randy Trouble in Paradise.

The Miz v Santino in a rematch. Santino wins with the eye poke. Then Morrison comes out and beats down Miz. Miz is out for 6 months. Morrison gets a lot of pops for this.

Divas Match. Melina makes a surprise return to Raw. ECW gets Maryse. Melina and Kelly v Gail and Alicia. Melina Pins Gail. Making Melina #1 contender to Gail's Divas Title.

Sheamus v MVP in a rematch. MVP wins with the Playmaker. MVP then hits the Drive By on Sheamus. Sheamus is out cold.

DX v Hart Dynasty v Jerishow for the Tag titles. If any of Jerishow get pinned they have to break up forever. Hart Dynasty pin Big show with the Hart Attack. Jerishow must break up.

After Jericho gets up, he says he will fight for the WHC and that he is coming for The Undertaker.

Then we go to the tron. An Edge coming soon Promo is shown and Jericho looks in disbelief.

Main Event. Cena def Orton with the STF.

PA takes over the brand.

Beat down DX. Bash them in the head with a toolbox.

Beat down most of the Divas, if not most of them. Those I like I'll take to the locker room, those I dont will be pildriven into the ground.

Take over announcer's booth and blatantly fuck up all names, moves, and events, etc.

Force Carlito to work for once then force eggs down his throat.

Have Vix slap vince in the face.

Bones karate-kick Miz and jack his shitty US title.

Throw rocks at Big Show.

Vandalize Cena's locker room, steal his shit, attack his dad.

DX/Hornswoggle segment.

Melina vs Gail for the divas title. Gail retains and Alicia Fox comes out to challenge Gail.

carlito vs Santino. Santino wins

Backstage segment- Maryse is laughing at Melina. a catfight ensues.

Masters & Eve vs Chavo & Jillian. Jillian gets the surprise roll up on Eve

Hart Dynasty vs Cryme Tyme for the tag titles. Cryme Tyme wins.

Eve/Jillian segment. Eve challenges for a one on one rematch. Jillian agrees.

Eve w/Masters vs Jillian w/Chavo. Chavo tries to interfere, Masters puts him int he Masterlock, which distracts Jillian. Eve takes advantage and hits jillian with a moonsault for the win.

Orton vs Sheamus vs Cena vs Kofi for the WWE title. Kofi wins the gold with a Trouble in Paradise on Orton.

FUCK THAT! PA OVER ALLLLLLLLL......

....AND FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY, NCD, THE NEVER-CARING, NAME-CHANGING SON OF A b***** JOINS FORCES WITH P.A. HE COMES OUT THROUGH THE CROWD WITH A MIC IN HAND AND HE AND ALL OF P.A. GET INTO THE RING AT THE CONCLUSION OF THE SHOW AND SHOUT IN SYNC, "WE JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"

*Assualts whole RAW roster*

Jordan Harvey Version 1.0 wrote:

PA takes over the brand.

Beat down DX. Bash them in the head with a toolbox.

Beat down most of the Divas, if not most of them. Those I like I'll take to the locker room, those I dont will be pildriven into the ground.

Take over announcer's booth and blatantly fuck up all names, moves, and events, etc.

Force Carlito to work for once then force eggs down his throat.

Have Vix slap vince in the face.

Bones karate-kick Miz and jack his shitty US title.

Throw rocks at Big Show.

Vandalize Cena's locker room, steal his shit, attack his dad.

ROTFLMAO!!!! MAN THAT WAS EPIC. I have tears in my eyes still. I need to walk away from the CPU for a second.

SHEAMUS-CD wrote:

....AND FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY, NCD, THE NEVER-CARING, NAME-CHANGING SON OF A b***** JOINS FORCES WITH P.A. HE COMES OUT THROUGH THE CROWD WITH A MIC IN HAND AND HE AND ALL OF P.A. GET INTO THE RING AT THE CONCLUSION OF THE SHOW AND SHOUT IN SYNC, "WE JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"

NEXT RAW:

P.A members are in the main office hanging out and planning the show in walks Kelly Kelly asking for a match against Gail.

NCD tells her to GTFO cause sh'e s facing Natalya and Beth in a 2 on one match.

1. Kelly Kelly vs. Beth & Natalya. Kelly loses after suffering two finishers back 2 back.

P.A. backstage taunting Gail about falling so low.

2. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus with Cena at ringside. Sheamus loses after an RKO. Randy stares at Cena who ends up in the ring attacking him. Both men fight Randy gives him the RKO and punts him in the head. He comes back and punts Sheamus in the head for good measure.

P.A. call the Bella's to the office and ask them what their purpose is. They put them in a pink slip on a pole match against Layla and McCool. Edgegore throws a pineapple at them as they walk out.

3. Bella's vs. McCool & Layla. Layla reaches the pink slip first. Match over. P.A. members come out to sing Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey to the twins as they leave.

HHH, Hornswoggle & Shawn Micheals walking in the hallway wearing their DX gear. They make their entrance and talk about being bandaged up after the vicious attack last week. P.A. members come out and tell them to STFU and it's time for them to learn a lesson. Viscera, Big Show and Kane make their way out and decimate DX. Big Show throws Hornswoggle 6 rows into the crowd.

Celebrity host Napoleon Dynamite arrives and P.A. send security to tell him to go back to 2006 or whenever the hell his movie came out.

4. John Morrison vs. The Miz. Jordan Harvey is the special guest ref and does a quick 3 count making Morrison new champion. He then calls out MVP to stomp Miz into the ground.

Melina is forced to come to the office and relinquish her Divas Title. It is promptly handed to Jillian Hall and the new champion.

P.A. stands at the top of the ramp and raise their hands in victory.

LMFAO that was one hell of a better job than mine...Big Show throws Hornswoggle 6 rows into the crowd LMFAO good god...gues he saw the light after we threw rocks at him the week before

Nice booking, E-Gore; it actually makes sense

Jordan Harvey Version 1.0 wrote:

LMFAO that was one hell of a better job than mine...Big Show throws Hornswoggle 6 rows into the crowd LMFAO good god...gues he saw the light after we threw rocks at him the week before

Nice booking, E-Gore; it actually makes sense

And you know this man. P.A Writers>WWE Writers.

next Raw:

All of PA is fired immediately.

Natalya vs Beth vs Melina vs Katie - fatal fourway elimination match under hardcore rules for the divas title. (Natalya wins)

Tag Team elimination match for the tag titles: hart Dynasty vs Legacy vs Miz & Big Show vs Mark Henry & MVP (Hart Dynasty wins)

Vince comes out with Batista. They talk crap at Bret. Cena comes out and assaults Batista with a chair. Him and Vince have a staredown. Vince starts backing away. Bret runs to the ring and stands behind Vince. Vince backs into Bret and turns around. Bret punches Vince in the face. Then stomps him.

backstage: MVP complains that he wasnt ready for the tag match. Thanks to him b*tching, he gets put in a triple threat US title match

US title match: Miz vs Swagger vs Masters. (Masters wins)

Main Event: HBK vs HHH vs Sheamus vs Orton - Cage match. HBK wins the WWE title.

over 2 years later and keeping up the current state of WWE:


Show opens with Triple H in the ring with security. They call out John Laurinitis. John comes out with Teddy, Otunga and Eve. Triple H says what John did last week was completely unacceptable. John is fired. Otunga and Eve get angry while Teddy laughs. Triple H fires Otunga and Eve before Teddy stops him and says everyone deserves a right to fight for their jobs. Triple H agrees and books Otunga and Eve in matches tonight, one on one, vs mystery opponents. Meanwhile, Teddy is now the personal assistant of Triple H who is now the acting GM of Raw until a suitable replacement can be found.

(commercial)

Eve vs Layla. IF Eve loses, she is fired. Beth Phoenix comes out to take a spot at the announce table. First Layla comes out then on her way down the ramp out comes Eve who starts off with a forearm to Layla's back. Layla falls down the ramp and Eve tosses her in the ring. Eve is all over Layla in this match but makes a critical mistake. Eve gets hit with the LayOut and Loses. Eve is fired.

(commercial)

Tag Title #1 contender's match: Epic & Primo vs The Usos. Usos win and crowd goes wild.

(commercial)

Brock Lesnar comes out. He says his match was a fluke and he demands a rematch vs Cena. Triple H comes out and says Cena is not fit to compete. Brock says he doesnt care and demands to see Cena. Cena's music hits but he comes from the crowd and attacks Lesnar with a chair. Security separates them as Triple H demands Brock leave the arena now or he is fired andbanned from WWE. Brock stares down Triple H then leaves with a smirk on his face.

(commercial)

Santino & Brodus Clay vs Dolph Ziggler & The Miz. Vickie interferes and Ziggler pins Santino.

(commercial)

Orton vs Otunga. If Otunga loses he is fired. Otunga jobs horribly to Orton and loses. Otunga is fired.

(comercial)

Cena comes out to explain his actions. He's interrupted by Edge who says he is proud of him but still Cena has a ways to go. He still needs to wake up. Triple H comes out and asks if Cena wants another go at Lesnar. cena thinks for a moment and then says yes. Says he has to do it for everyone. Someone has to stop Lesnar and who better than Cena? Triple H nods and agrees to give Cena his match. Raw goes off the air.