Eight Fast-Food Miracles and Missteps From the Decade

This decade has been a Golden Age for the fast-food industry, even though the new century hasn't been kind: The Nacho Cheese/Beefy Goodness/Deep-Fry Vat Complex has been blamed for America's obesity.

The industry has been forced to display calorie counts on menus and switch to trans-fat oils. Books have been written revealing the unseemly side of the quick-eats business.

Yet the fast-food industry has thrived, heralding a Renaissance of budget-friendly cuisine engineered to be portable, comforting and tasty. It's nosh scientifically designed to please your brain's pleasure centers.

But fast food is so much more than just empty calories, heart disease and obscene mash-ups of salt, sauce and Soylent meat. Our country's huts, shacks and drive-thrus represent a slice of the American Dream -- a decadent indulgence and convenient luxury that the entire socioeconomic strata can enjoy.

Walk through one of these establishments at noon near Wall Street in New York City and you'll find college students, bike messengers and Masters of the Universe soaking up the grease. It unites us as one big, fat family.

Over these surprisingly short years, we've seen the boundaries pushed, and trends tested. We've snacked on toasted subs, candy-laced milkshakes and piles upon piles of patties -- and those are just the obvious examples. Some innovations soared and some crashed. Here are eight soon-to-be legendary examples. ...

Best of the Decade: The McGriddle

McDonald's has always been the industry juggernaut, and it got that way, partially, by constant modernization of its menu. It scored big with a new breakfast item: the awesomely named McGriddle, which is egg, cheese and bacon sandwiched between two syrup-infused pancakes. Sweet, savory and satisfying, it's a delicious wonder of science and smarts -- almost challenging the Egg McMuffin for breakfast supremacy.

Crunchiest: Taco Bell Crunch Wrap Supreme

The most bite for your buck, Taco Bell is constantly rearranging its core ingredients and flavors into all-new monstrosities. And one of its most celebrated flavors is "crunch."

Taco Bell's Crunch Wrap is a self-contained grilled tortilla hexagon filled with nacho cheese, beef, sour cream, lettuce and tomato. It is an extremely crunchy, one-handed meal that symbolizes the simple glories of this fast-food mainstay.

Most Disappointing: KFC Famous Bowls

Kentucky Fried Chicken spent a lot of the aughts trying to diversify its menu, rebranding itself as "KFC" in order to de-emphasize what made it famous.

While stumbling through this identity crisis, it introduced its most notable and disappointing menu item. The KFC Bowl resembled a small human trough or a Dickensian pot of gruel filled with mashed potatoes, corn, cheese, gravy and chicken strips, all slopped together. Flavors and textures failed to meld properly. It was a hand-sized tub of gloppy sadness.

Trendiest: Wendy's Baconator

Wendy's is to fast food what The Who is to classic rock: huge, but not the Rolling Stones or the Beatles.

They jumped on the "bacon makes everything better" bandwagon, and they did it simply. The burger was just two patties and cheese, but while most bacon sandwiches have at least three ribbons of pig, Wendy's had six strips of bacon. Double the pork. The great thing about the Baconator is you knew exactly what you were getting: a vehicle for bacon.

Biggest Gamble: Domino's Bread Bowl Pasta

Domino's became famous and successful for delivering piping hot pizzas, but it wanted more. It remains to be seen whether its attempts to expand beyond injecting crusts with cheese will be successful. Until then, America continues to be invited to try a crown of bread filled with pasta.

It's a bold statement that says carbs are good, and twice the carbs are better. Plus, cheese. The fact that it's served in an edible container makes it unique among its peers. And it can be yours in 30 minutes or less.

Strangest: Burger King Chicken Fries

Micky D's biggest competitor got weird this decade, taking chances on a wonderfully creepy ad campaign featuring a mute in a plastic mask.

One such risk was so-called chicken fries, whereby Burger King took chicken parts smashed into shapes somewhere totally new. Served like french fries, these meat sticks were an attempt to reinvent the art of dunking things. Ultimately, it failed if only because it was just so ... bizarre.

Most Fattening: Hardee's Thick Burger

Hardee's has always languished in the shadows of giants. Attention was paid when Hardee's rolled out this 1,500 calories coronary on a bun.

The burger made the news, and attracted criticism. The truth is, it was a very basic concept: two thirds of a pound of beef, cheese and mayo. Nothing special per se, except that it set a precedent that its competitors keep imitating.

Lamest: Any Salad

Walk into any fast-food restaurant and find the fridge where you can see prepackaged salads cooling. It's a safe bet those salads have been there since the fridge arrived from the home office.

The fast-food industry responded to accusations that it had conspired with our base appetite to hijack our free will by offering "healthy choices."

Ironically, the assorted, tepid Mediterranean, Mandarin and house salads were frequently as caloric as the burgers, fries and nuggets. These salads were just meant to placate the hysterical. There are plenty of places to eat a fresh, healthy salad. A burger joint is not one of them.

I HATE people that blame fast foods places for their obesity, It's like b***** if you knew those 45 Big Macs a day was making you fat, then why your fat ass keep eating it??, I was livid when I found out ole girl fat ass won that lawsuit against McDonalds, that was some straight up bs, those people at that McDonalds didn't force her to come in there, fat fuck went in there on her on free will, I wanted to hunt her down and beat her fat ass!

<^> (-_-) <^> wrote:

I HATE people that blame fast foods places for their obesity, It's like b***** if you knew those 45 Big Macs a day was making you fat, then why your fat ass keep eating it??, I was livid when I found out ole girl fat ass won that lawsuit against McDonalds, that was some straight up bs, those people at that McDonalds didn't force her to come in there, fat fuck went in there on her on free will, I wanted to hunt her down and beat her fat ass!

LMAO exactly! Most fat people always blame someone else though, that's how they roll!

its so true! a lot of overweight people blame their obesity on others, and are in flat out denial, pretending they are skinny and need to gain weight! sooo sad!

some of that food sounds nasty!! like ew! eat something healthy please!

TheGreatMintz wrote:

<^> (-_-) <^> wrote:

I HATE people that blame fast foods places for their obesity, It's like b***** if you knew those 45 Big Macs a day was making you fat, then why your fat ass keep eating it??, I was livid when I found out ole girl fat ass won that lawsuit against McDonalds, that was some straight up bs, those people at that McDonalds didn't force her to come in there, fat fuck went in there on her on free will, I wanted to hunt her down and beat her fat ass!

LMAO exactly! Most fat people always blame someone else though, that's how they roll!

All they do is roll.