Promo feedback?

I posted this for my most recent match on a fed called FFW, I won with it, and I just wanted your thoughts. I didn't know where to put it, so I just put it here. Short yet sweet. By the way, for you ROH fans, I took his character in a different direction.. I know there wasn't a graveyard or any of that. I couldn't be a CAW, but you can take characters in any direction, soooo, I did just that.

The cold night air whispered and whirred throughout the seemingly small village, rain trickled down from the sky, dampening the grass leaving it gleaming from the moonlight. A streetlight flickered above a park bench where Jimmy Jacobs sat. His head was down, his hands pressed together, and he sported his wrestling attire along with a deep black trenchcoat, which blew along the direction the wind was swaying. He lifted his head up and opened his eyes revealing a reflection of a full moon in his eyes. Jacobs smirked and stood up. His feet scraped off the stone path as he walked closer to the camera.

;;Jimmy Jacobs;;
Follow me.

Jacobs turned around and walked down the pathway, the soft crunching sound of leaves beneath his boots. He walked with a purpose and did not once hesitate or look back to make sure the cameraview was following his commands. They passed statues of Gargoyles, Dragons, and other mystical creatures until Jacobs came to a abrupt halt in front of a gate. His eyes went back and forth down the path before turning back to the camera.

;;Jimmy Jacobs;;
We are alone, so do not be frightened. It's just a graveyard.

Jimmy's head lowered and his mouth opened to speak but it wasn't distinct enough to make out what he had said, though after he had spoken the murmur the gate had swung open with a loud creak. He raised his head up, and motioned with his hand for the camera to follow him through the gate. His heels turned around, almost grinding on the path as he entered the gate. The view raised up to read the words that were atop the gateway. It was made out to be "Age of the Fallen" with a raven perched upon the words. As the top of the gate disappeared while the camera moved back down following Jimmy Jacobs to his destination.

;;Jimmy Jacobs;;
This, cemetery was where the Age of the Fallen had originated. I used to be centerpiece while my followers were spread about along these gravestones.. but since that staple fell apart, they have all been erased from the gravestones. The men and women who took mine or their blood and engraved their names on these stones represented being fallen. This time around, I will not be apart of the fallen. In Full Force Wrestling, at Revolution, I plan to be at the very tip top without falling. This graveyard now represents the ones who have fallen before the new Jimmy Jacobs.

The gravestones were passed with quick glances from Jacobs.. he walked until he reached a fairly small stone that was bare. He knelt before it, taking off his glove, he gave it a hard punch. His knuckles retreated from the stone. Blood ran down his knuckles, and Jacobs seemed to be happy with what he had done. Removing his other glove, he took his fingers and dabbed them in the blood. He looked up at the gravestone, and wrote in blood:

"The first to become fallen,
Roderick Strong"

;;Jimmy Jacobs;;
Roderick Strong, the man I face in my debut for the Revolution brand WILL be the first to fall before me. His arsenal is not "strong" enough to take me down and I am not the least bit worried of being a failure tonight. The pulse in my veins tells me that my chances of losing tonight are very slim. I will rip and tear apart Roderick Strong and declare him as my first victim. He will be the beginning the previously ceased Age of the Fallen. The meaning of this new.. group being: "Those that have not been victorious over Jimmy Jacobs."

Jacobs stands up, and views his gravestone before turning back to the camera and showing no expression. In the next moment, the view swirls round and round until focusing back to normality on the raven that was perched upon the words "Age of the Fallen" before fading to black.