Charlie Sheen took his “movement” to The Howard Stern Show this morning, and, sure enough, he peppered their conversation with the bizarre Sheenisms that are probably at this moment being ironed on thousands of poorly-manufactured ironic t-shirts. He referred to women who have sold their intimate Sheen stories to the press as “retarded zombies,” and coined the sure-to-be-a-winning campaign slogan, “Hope is for suckers and tools.” But his tiger blood seemed calm when Stern asked him about the rumor that John Stamos might be called upon to fill Sheen’s shoes on Two and a Half Men. (For the record, insiders are denying the rumor.) “Would you be mad if Stamos replaced you?” asked Stern. “No, it’s not his fault,” Sheen replied. “He can’t replace you, you say?” Stern provoked. “I don’t know, I think the people would revolt.”
Sheen promised to call Stern back tomorrow morning, and Stern volunteered to reach out to Chuck Lorre and then mediate as the two addressed their disagreements. What are the chances Lorre takes the bait?