The Funeral Please Show your Respect.

RAW Diva Division
Janaury 4th, 2009 - July 26,2010

*plays the Funeral March Music*

Today I would like to welcome each and everyone of you to the Burial of WWE RAW Diva Division. It had a nice run for those 6 months we experience new things we never thought we would see but just like a candle that been light the wax has all melted and the only thing left is a puddle.

*Cries why they have to take it they were so young wipes eyes*

I mean will all are left to ponder what will become of eve,alica,nattie,and maryse career had this virus not returned and struck them down in their prime. We are only left with the hope of the McCool Cure will save us as she will probably now be to late to save the career of these young divas. I mean there was a time when a diva peed in a sink we said she could be the next diva champion but not with this evil plague of evil that has tooken over raw diva division. She has brought with her a cult of evil who spews pure hatered. At a time when we need a positive influence we are stuck with a lady who is sub par technical ablity as a champion. We can only hope that she makes a pass at Triple H and will be released but then again she cheated on her faithful boyfriend setting a horrible example for the young female viewers who admire her.

*holds back some tears*

I Loved the Raw Division but now all that is left is memories as the female Bill Goldberg has returned. So I sadly will say goodbye to those wonderful divas future careers. As I will symbolize this burial with a replica of the diva's championship. Maybe One Day Like Mr.Obama said we will get the change we can believe in and not another 3 years of the same old thing.

*places diva championship title in a casket and puts a rose on it.*

Now I will let Mr.Jordan speak on this tragic event. Please anyone else who wishes to add memories follow Mr.Jordan

*runs to the casket crying and Screaming they were too young.*

wtf? I thought someone died

Prince Blue wrote:

wtf? I thought someone died

*cries* stop being so insensitive those divas had futures before the evil virus returned.

Apart from like 5 or 6 girls also including the ones released recently, the whole division has been dead as a whole for a while now. Its more or less just certain matches being good once in a while when the talented ones work together.

To clarify, I was talking about Mickie James, Beth Phoenix, Katie Lea, Gail Kim, Natalya, and give or take depending on when we are talking about, Melina. She was at one point really good. She is still good enough, but she really watered down her moveset, and she does that lame split leg drop, and the Code Green.

Its a thing for me where I think she needs to be more innovative in what she does.

why Raw....WHY????!!!!!!

*walks up to the podium, clad in debonair tuxedo, round Bret Hart shades with Bones on the side, just watching....watching*

Jordan H.: "My friends, we are here for a special event. This is for a funeral for something we had held dear to our hearts, and that is RAW's Women Division. I do not want to be biased here because my heart *beats chest* won't allow me to hold back my true feelings. Frankly, there hasn't been a Women's Division since the departure of Trish Stratus *turns to Bones who somberly nods in agreement*. You see, my friends, the Women's Division in WWE was never a serious part of the show. For us the real fans, it meant I got to see nice asses and stupendous titties on my television set. I have fond memories of that Division. I discovered boners thanks to those highly talented women. I discovered masturbation *Bones looks up then quickly looks down* THANKS to those Divas. And can you blame me? Trish, Torrie, Sable in Bra and Panties matches???? HEL-LO!"

*pounds fists with Bones*

Jordan H.: "You see, when Trish left, that represented the end of me-and-my-right hand-time. That made me a depressed man, I huddled alone on my Planet for WEEKS as I saw the PG direction just destroy my Women's Division into complete SHIT. I missed my Divas half-naked with the occasional talent thrown in there. No, what do I get? What does Bones get???"

*Bones shrugs*

Jordan H.: "WE GET FINE (for the most part) MODELS, AND NOT ONLY FINE MODELS, FINE MODELS WHO DON'T REMOVE THEIR CLOTHES. Complete, utter BLASPHEMY. BLASSSPPPHHEEMMYYY!!! I thought me and Vince had a similiar understanding about women in wrestling. 'They got talent? Cool. They got none? Cool. Are they sexy? Fuck yeah? Are they taking off clothing???'"

*Turns to Bones*

Bones: "OHHH HEEELL YYEEAAHHHH!!*

*Bones drowns himself in beer can*

Jordan H.: "Then...Melina came along. I saw Pocahontas and I saw hope. As I watched her work over time, I saw her squash the Women's Division. It was beautiful. It was their punishment. It was what they got for taking away MY Women's Division. BONES'S Women's Division, Gotdamn it!"

*bangs fist on podium*

Jordan H.: "Pocahontas was the best thing to happen to us for a while. Then she got hurt, and this garbage Women's Division began to rise again. I wanted to cry. But on Monday, on that glorious, glorious Monday....*holds hands in prayer position*....she returned, and not only did she return, she SCREAMED it like she was cumming right there in the ring! And I cried, hell Bones cried. Because we KNEW...the Women's Division will suffer once again. I see glorious squashing in the future. I will enjoy Pocahontas once again smashing her vagina on the throat of her adversaries and deliver one three-count after another...and another...and another...all the while screaming like a sexual fiend. Oh yes..."

*Prepares to walk off*

Jordan H.: "It will be glorious..."

*Jordan and Bones approach casket with picture of the current Raw Women's Division, and Jordan kisses it violently. Bones stares awkwardly around*

*Jordan rests hand on casket and fondles it disturbingly, tongues it as well*

Jordan H.: "Rest easy, girls.."

*Prepares to leave, but runs back to podium*

Jordan H.: "Oh yeah, Dead, you're next like Goldberg."

*Leaves*

is all i gotsta say

I like the idea of....Melina not winning at all?

^^ Me too..but that's not going to happen.

I'm offering a shoulder for those that need something to cry on, by the way, remind me to thank Undertaker for doing such a wonderful job with the service; I mean, actually providing the coffin used from his buried alive match at mania, perfection!

Summerslam is in Melinas home town....so yeahhhh

If anyone needs to talk or vent or anything of the sort, I'm always here. It's always tough to lose something so very fear to you. Makes you wonder if you can ever move on. But you have to. The Raw diva division would want you guys to.

I'm here if anyone needs some counseling.

Good article though I dont agree with it.

What gets me people bash Melina for "buring" the divison when Michelle has done the same thing if not worse, and yet people are prasiing her. No offense to Michelle, she is a good wrestler but she has buried divas and has always been in the title picture too, just as much as Melina if not more.

I guess People are not watching Smackdown. :/

I do hope they wait to put the title on Melina at NOC or later, then turn heel and Nattie gets it.

I for one am glad Melina is back, IMO it may get better.

McTwigglet gets plenty of bashing..especially now with that stupid ass "co-champions" crap

she's like the Beyonce of LayCool...finds a way to weasel into everything even when it isnt supposed to be about her..she makes it about her.

janine wrote:

Good article though I dont agree with it.

What gets me people bash Melina for "buring" the divison when Michelle has done the same thing if not worse, and yet people are prasiing her. No offense to Michelle, she is a good wrestler but she has buried divas and has always been in the title picture too, just as much as Melina if not more.

I guess People are not watching Smackdown. :/

I do hope they wait to put the title on Melina at NOC or later, then turn heel and Nattie gets it.

I for one am glad Melina is back, IMO it may get better.

Thank you Janine I am really glad you liked it

This isn't about Michelle McCool, so again I dunno why she has to be brought into these discussions. But I will post my speech later on

Because Michelle can't seem to keep herself out of nothing

The Final Countdown wrote:

Because Michelle can't seem to keep herself out of nothing

The sd division is dead so yeah, this is about Melina killing raws division

The moment Michelle said "I do," we lost any hope of that division ever having any great feuds involving divas other than Michelle, or that she would stand by the sidelines when it came to the title picture; which is why many turned to RAW, crappy as the majority of the divas there are, at least you knew it had variety.

The Sexy Vixen wrote:

McTwigglet gets plenty of bashing..especially now with that stupid ass "co-champions" crap

she's like the Beyonce of LayCool...finds a way to weasel into everything even when it isnt supposed to be about her..she makes it about her.

I like the Beyonce reference, someone else besides me and my mom and sister see she is like that